A Local’s Quick and Dirty Guide to Las Vegas Gentlemen’s Clubs

Gorgeous women and some of the best (if not the best) gentlemen’s clubs in the world – that’s  what we’re talking about today. I was given the daunting task of writing a brief guide about such things. I’ll try to be as politically correct as possible; yet I may also completely fail.

First, I’ll break down my personal few favorite clubs, then a quick guide to gentlemen’s club etiquette and tact so you get the biggest bang for your buck… not like that; get your mind out of the gutter. Why would you need a guide to etiquette you ask? If you see the amount of guys that repel dancers on any given night, you’ll understand why.

There’s a few things to consider with each of these clubs.

• The “looks” scale. Let’s not kid ourselves, we go to clubs ogle our dream girls, not to get wrapped up in enchanting dialogue
• The environment and the price.
• There are other factors, but let’s just keep it short and sweet for now.

Spearmint Rhino
I specifically remember being at this club one night and looking around to see so many gorgeous dancers that I was stopped in my tracks… literally. It was a mini panic attack as if my brain couldn’t process it all. This club brings a ton of the most attractive girls I’ve seen thus far. For most people, this may be exactly what they’re looking for. So there you go; I just saved you an additional 4 minutes of reading.

If you’re still with me, here are some of the other points to take into consideration:

• There’s seldom any seating (as it is very popular)
•  It is on the pricier side of this list
•  The girls are somewhat aggresive; meaning that they’re there to make lots of money, which is a good thing

With that last note, just know these ladies don’t want to be introduced to a long list of pickup lines that you may have to offer… more than a couple of them haven’t mastered the English language yet on that note so small talk may be hindered.

Crazy Horse 3
Probably my personal favorite is Crazy Horse 3. On Friday nights, this place can get incredibly packed. There are a multitude of dancers everywhere and they’re generally more on the friendly side as well as more laid back in the sense that you can talk to them without feeling the ‘used car salesman pressure’ that you’d feel at other clubs. Crazy Horse 3 is less pricey than the typical tourist clubs from my personal experience; but that’s also because they have a discount card for locals.

I’ve left here on quite a few occasions with the sun out, desperately trying to find my sunglasses and may or may not have put a couple of those dancer’s kids through college with the amount of cash I burned in a night.

Hustler Club
As far as layout goes, it is highly impressive with two-stories and an additional rooftop patio to host parties in warmer weather with great views of the Strip. It’s spacious enough to allow you ample room to settle in without awkwardly rubbing elbows with the people next to you as you get that lap dance. This is especially great for those who get tired of posting up at the bar the entire night. The staff, in my experience, has always been pretty friendly. Of these three, this club is probably the most inexpensive (I use that term loosely as any of these clubs can warrant an empty bank account if you were so inclined).

Those are my top three personal preferences, however, there are other large draws such as Sapphire that is quite popular with the out of town visitors. I should also mention that all of these clubs are topless only.

Little Darlings
Vegas does offer a few fully nude clubs, however, they’re not allowed to serve alcohol (with the exception of Club Palomino, as they were grandfathered into this clause). Of these fully-nude clubs, I prefer and would recommend Little Darlings. Though soda pop generally doesn’t have the kick I’m looking for after a long workweek.

Club Etiquette
Now I’d like to make a few suggestions for club etiquette. First off, I don’t recommend calling a girl over just so you can waste her time with banter and not dances… they’re on the clock like anyone else at work. Would you call a waiter over when you weren’t even going to order anything?

That’s not to say you can’t converse with them when they voluntarily walk over to you because sometimes they do actually want a break from dancing or cooling off from an experience with an inappropriate patron. It also never hurts to buy them a drink.

Talking to the dancers: It blows my mind how many times I go into a club and some think it’s okay to treat the dancers like garbage. You’ll receive the same amount of respect that you dish out. Sure they may tolerate it to take your money, but there’s a good chance they secretly hate you, and you’re unknowingly developing a reputation.

Blurting out everything you’d like to do to one of the entertainers Biblically is also not recommended. They hear this talk for eight hours a night. they’re desensitized. You’d be amazed how far you can get by just treating them like actual human beings; like someone you’d talk to in a coffee shop or someone you met while waiting in a line. I fully recommend it as your gentlemen’s club experience will be that much better, I promise.

Do you have a favorite club that I didn’t cover or have an experience you’d like to share? We’d love to hear it. Interested in hitting up a gentlemen's club while in Vegas? Fill out the information form here and we'll get you there.